According to this study, only 50% of people we consider that our friends think the same in return. These people may spend time with us because they want something from us or because they think having lots of friends is good for their image.
But even if your friendship started out of mutual interest, it can turn into something completely different over time.
Sure, misunderstandings and fights can happen even between your dearest friends, but if these relationships make you uncomfortable on a regular basis and often annoy you, it may be time to think about whether or not you need to continue with them.
psychologists Susan Heitler and Sharon Livingstonsummarize the signs of toxic friendships and explain how you can change the situation.
Your friend makes you compete with his other friends
Your friend always tells you how much his other friends are more interesting than you and how much fun you had together, making you jealous and bored.
Most of the time during your meetings, you talk about your friends’ business, but they are not interested in your problems.
Your friend loves to tell you their news, but as soon as you try to say something about yourself, they get an urgent message to reply or find another reason not to listen.
Your friend criticizes you condescendingly but does not accept your criticism
Honesty in relationships is very important; Constructive criticism can be very helpful. But a toxic friend doesn’t skimp on his feelings by saying you need to hit the gym or get a better haircut.
His goal is not to tell the truth, but to humiliate you. But that friend can get very indignant if you try to do the same thing.
Start meetings more often than your friend
They don’t seem interested in communicating with you and they don’t contribute to your relationship.
The opposite question can be when your friend is very clingy and takes your time all the time, which is also not so good.
You always fear an emotional swing
The inconsistency and unpredictability of your friend’s behavior always catch you off guard.
Yesterday you had a nice chat on the phone, and today you get ignored and wonder what you did wrong.
You are always cautious about saying the wrong thing which can trigger your friend’s anger
Your friend often gets offended and angry with you, so you always feel tense in his presence and you are afraid of saying something inappropriate.
Why is it so hard to part with a toxic friend? How do you do it?
It seems like it would be easy to end relationships you don’t like, but it’s not always that simple.
Toxic friends can have their positive characteristics. Psychologist Yan Yager, in his book When Friendship Hurts, says that toxic signs only reveal themselves once in a while, and the rest of the time, your friend is ready to help and comfort you. In that case, consider all the pros and cons of these relationships. If that person always breaks promises, drinks and doesn’t return your things, takes advantage of your help, or spills your secrets to other people, then perhaps the willingness to go to the movies or have coffee with you isn’t that important.
Humiliating comments are often featured. like jokes and with a smile and a saying like “I always think about what is best for you”. When an insult has what’s called a friendly wrapper, it’s much harder to tell apart, but don’t be fooled by it.
We are afraid of being alone. This fear is a common reason why people are willing to put up with a bad attitude from a friend. But if you are open and friendly, new relationships will always find you.
Your relationships are long-lasting and bring back good memories. Even if an old friendship brings nothing but irritation, their shared past may make you doubt your decision to break up. This separation can be similar to a separation from love. All you can do is be patient and survive.
You can’t understand your feelings. You may experience a wide range of emotions towards that person: love, anger, and irritation. You have to decide which emotions prevail and choose whether to continue this relationship or not.
You think you deserve that attitude. Sometimes you try to find excuses for your toxic friend’s attitude and think: “Maybe he’s right and I’m too sensitive?” But if you have to be perfect to be treated kindly, is this really friendship?
You have mutual friends. If you don’t want your friends to choose sides, it’s best to avoid open warfare and official separation. Try to distance yourself slowly and gradually to avoid rumors and accusations.
Are you done with your friends? Tell us your story in the comments below.